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5 Qualities in a Good Wife

 

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The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22

He who finds a wife finds a good thing,
And obtains favor from the Lord.

So let me tell yall, that I definitely hit the lottery with my wife. So in my Fire Marshall  Bill voice (Let me tell ya something), this is a free bee, the best place to find a good wife, is in the House of God.

Regardless of whether you find a wife in the House of God, here are 5 qualities in my wife that every man, particularly Christian men should look for.

1. A Love for God

Let me tell you when I was looking for a wife, I needed to find someone who loved God. That is the first commandment that God has for all people. I did not want to marry someone who was apathetic about God. I did not want someone to dampen my zeal for God,  I have enough flaws as it is. I did not want someone who was going to send me to Hell. My wife has a relationship with God. Its why I married her.  I’m telling you if your wife does not love God and you do, you will have some obstacles trying to serve God. For those of you who may not believers, a wife who loves God can eventually get your butt saved, and save your from the biggest mistake you will ever make in your life. My wife loves God. A bonus about a woman who loves God, is even when you screw up, which you will, a woman who loves God will be a little more merciful. Fellas, I have made some bad decisions, and my wife has seen me through because she loved God. You will make mistakes, and you want to know your wife’s got your back.  A wife who loves God  will also point you back to the mercies of God. The bigger thing for me, however is I know I had planned to have kids, and I wanted them to have certain values and I wanted them to avoid Hell. As Christian men we have to live for more than this life, we know there’s a next one and I wanted my wife to help me instruct my children that there is a deeper life that we need to aspire to.

2. My wife loved me for me

Boy this is so big. I don’t think I have seen another woman who can compare to my wife on this point. Fellas, when I met my wife I was a broke grad student, with a bad wardrobe, but a good heart, and some decent looks. Fellas I married up. My wife had a better job then me, she was and is better looking then me, and had all kinds of guys after her. I still don’t know how I got her to marry me. She still doesn’t know. Since I married my wife, I got better jobs, better wardrobe and better looking. That’s what you call favor from God. My wife brought me favor. Men,  you want to know your wife doesn’t love your for your job, for your money, for your position, for your influence, for what you can give her materially. My wife loved me for me, for my goofiness, she loved me for my vision, and the little charisma I had. I told her as God blesses us I would provide her with the material things. Men I live and lived in Southern California, even the Christian woman can be materialistic, You don’t find many woman like my wife.  To add some perspective, I planned to be a missionary and travel the world, so I figured I wouldn’t be balling and needed someone who was willing to ride when God sent me. Men I know you understand that you don’t have problems blessing your wife, having someone who knows her worth and knows its isn’t measured by what I can or can’t afford to buy is a lost value.  I recently took my wife to Tiffany & Co to do some browsing and after checking out the selection my wife decided she just wasn’t that interested. She has her same ring, but wasn’t that interested in upgrading her bling.

3. My wife is my friend and made me a better person.

Fellas your wife has to be your friend or your marriage won’t work. I have shared my biggest struggles with my wife. She knows my darkest secrets and my dreams. My wife wants to talk alot more than I do, but that’s cool. At least I know she is interested in me. She genuinely likes me. She wants me as her companion, and as her confidant. I like going places with my wife, walking with her, watching programs with her. Dancing with her. Going to church with her. I can be myself without putting on any pretense. Some relationships are more like a business relationship, and when you have multiple kids its hard because that time gets limited. However when its just me and my wife I can enjoy her and tap into her mind. My wife also makes me a better person. I am a little more sensitive, though I still need to work on that. My wife makes me think less about me, and more about my family. She also challenges me to be more like Christ, and lets me know when I fall short.

4. My wife is a good mom

I always wanted to have children. My wife wanted children. We love our children. My wife is a great mom. She loves them hard. She loves them a little too much, but that’s okay. My wife preferred to stay home and help raise our children instead of her career. She was willing to sacrifice,  because she loves our children. She cooks for them helps them with their homework, and she loves it. Some women see it as a chore, she can at times but she genuinely loves being with our kids. I like knowing my children are in good hands. Fellas especially young men, these qualities are getting harder to find. My wife also can cook. Fellas this is a big issue. I like knowing my kids and I don’t have to worry about throwing our plates full of nasty food in the trash. I like knowing my wife teaches my children about God. She teaches them morals. My wife is about her family. She’s one of a kind. Single men, if you want a family, make sure your wife is a family woman.

5.  My wife is fine and virtuous 

After a few kids, my wife still looks good. She hardly ages. People ten years younger than us still think we are their age. When you are looking for wife find someone you are attracted to. Someone you don’t mind taking out in public. I’m kidding, but I’m not. Men our sex drive is strong, so its important to find someone who can meet that need. I’m so blessed to have a wife who turns me on . As Christians we don’t have the luxury of testing out our woman before we marry, or having different woman, but you want to be aroused by your wife.  You also prefer your wife not to be flirty with other man, and not to have extensive history if you can avoid it. There’s a lot of temptation out there for woman as well. You want your wife to be strong and avoid those temptations.

To my wife: Babe you are one of a kind. I know I found a diamond with you. You are all I could dream of and I know many men would love to have a wife like you. I still don’t know why you married me, but I’m so glad you did. I pray that God will bless you and increase you and use you for his glory.

To my readers: Men please find someone who possesses these qualities. If you do, you’ll  be better off in the long run. Make sure the one you marry will be down with you through the thick and thin.

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Dreams dont die on Christmas

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I’m excited about Christmas, not because of the gifts, trees and shopping (which I hate) but because its a time of miracles. One of the first miracles we find in the gospels is the story of Zachariah and Elizabeth. They are the N.T Abraham and Sarah.  Its a story of faith, in the midst of the impossible. Check out the podcast.

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Don’t get it Twisted

Its mid-December. The time when we begin to see all sorts of blogs and messages about Christmas. I don’t think I’ve done to many of these, so I’m going to give you one. I’m a get a little hood ( that means ghetto; from the streets figuratively, not literally). Don’t get it twisted ( confused). Christmas season is not about you having money to buy gifts, family to celebrate it with, a big tree, holiday sales, and gift exchanges.

This season is often said to be one of the most depressing times of the years, because people focus on what they lack, rather than what they have.

It is to this mentality that the Gospel Speaks. In Luke chapter 2

 And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. 10 And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

There is good news. There is great news, and its not necessarily a new job, home, a new boyfriend or girlfriend, or a ps4. I know some people would like to allegorize that and exchange the glory of the true gift for a material break through that may or may not actually happen. No the good news is way beyond that. Not only that, this news comes with joy, and not just any joy; Great Joy. I’m more and more convinced as I get older and a little wiser, that this Joy that the angel speaks of far exceeds any gift, item, or possession.  What is the cause of the great joy? None other than the savior of the world Jesus Christ.

I have a son, who when I go to malls,  loves to ask me to pay for him to ride those little cars that rock you back and forth when you put a dollar in them. They have all different types, some go one foot forward, then slide backward. Others go side to side, and the cooler ones you sit in them, and they show you a video of a roller coaster,, and they actually simulate the ride, by turning 5 inches to the side when the roller coaster turns, and when the roller coaster dips, it dips a half inch. Its so amazing! The thing about those rides is that they are so small, that I can’t get in with him.

Sometimes, actually almost every time my son asks me to pay for those rides, I tell him no. I’m such a scrooge,  which is why he learned how to ask mom. But if I tell him hey son, don’t worry about those rides I’m going to take you  somewhere much better… Legoland ( a kids theme park) Then  you and I can both ride the rides and have fun together. It would be foolish for my son to pout over the dollar machines, that pale to the excitement and cost of Legoland.

This is what happens to us. Often we go moping around when we don’t have enough money or don’t have permission to ride those little cars at the mall. Its funny because God sometimes gives permission and money and sometimes he doesn’t. He’s a much better father than me. But we shouldn’t put our heads down when we don’t get to ride the rides, because God has something much better for us, something much greater than Disneyland, Legoland,  or Disneyworld. The Magic Kingdom is like skid row compared to what God has prepared, and you know the best thing is that he’s gonna be on the rides with us.

So whether your christmas tree is going to be full, or non existent; Don’t get it twisted, Its all about the promise we have of him. Christ. He offers great joy for all those who believe in him, regardless of their circumstances. My prayer for you during this season is that you will know Christ,the savior that brings great joy, and that our perspective will be on him.

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The gospel according to Joseph (Part 1)

After reading the first couple of chapters of Matthew for the 11teenth time, I came upon this question, what happened to Joseph? Really? When it comes down to imagining the super stars in the family of Jesus, we have God the father, God the son, and …. oh we’re talking about the natural family of Jesus. Well Mary’s kind of a big deal at least to those of the Catholic tradition. In fact she’s held in so high preeminence that they call her the “mother of God.” Then there’s Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the first born from the dead, the bright and morning star, prince of peace,etc etc. Among the lesser known members of Jesus’ family is his brother James who would later co-lead the early church in Jerusalem, then there is his brother Jude,  who some believe to have written that one page letter right in front of Revelation..At the end of the list there are his other sisters and maybe brothers whom we have no names given; apparently Joseph was trying to start his own football team, the “Saints”. Bad jokes aside, Joseph is a critical figure in the story of the gospel and is deserving of more of our attention.

There’s one story that I want to pick up on that’ll highlight Joseph’s unique position, but before that I will give a brief breakdown from Joseph’s eyes.

After proposing to his fiance, Joseph is shocked by the infamous words from Mary, “I’m pregnant”. Shocked, perplexed, and betrayed, Joseph is hammered by a torrent of crushing thoughts, how, to who, why would you do this to me? What will my family think? How am I going to cancel the wedding? I wouldn’t be surprised if Joseph even swore a little. We are not provided all the details of how Mary dropped the bomb on Joseph, but the fact that he tried to downplay it so that Mary could save face. Matthew 1 tells us he attempted to divorce her in secret.

19 Because Joseph her husband was faithful to the law, and yet[e] did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly. ( Matthew 1:19)

I don’t know how that process worked, but we get that in spite of the feelings of betrayal and hurt he had enough respect to end the relationship quietly, not on facebook; not the secret changing of one’s status from in a relationship to single; not through a text message or tweet,  no public crucifixions, but privately. I can imagine what restraint he had, and am convinced that his graciousness can largely  be attributed to him being a “man of the law”( Matthew 1:19). Joseph wasn’t a preacher, or a rabbi of his day, but a humble man who believed in God. This explains why in the next verse he decides to stay with Mary, because lets be honest, How many of us after hearing our fiance is pregnant with someone else’s baby would stay with her after having a dream? Even if an angel visited us, we could always chalk it up as something we ate, psycho analyze it away as insecure attachment issues, or find some other reason to let our emotions take away what was revealed. I believe Joseph’s familiarity with God’s word allowed him to recognize the voice of God in the dream. Even still I can only imagine the talk that Joseph had with Mary afterwards and the conflicting emotions he had because yes God had spoken to him, but yet he had to still deal with his flesh, and eventually forgive.

On top of that imagine you were told you would be the father of the son of God. Talk about pressure. This is one child you better make sure you take care of, because its really God’s son. Imagine the thought of Joseph raising his voice at Jesus, or even the thought of disciplining Jesus. I mean do you whoop God’s son? Do you put him in time out? Yes I know Jesus was perfect, but how many of you have ever gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do as a child. I mean Jesus was the perfect son, but there is no such thing as the perfect parent; and anyway I’m sure Joseph wasn’t thinking about his son being sinless at the time he was told he would be the father to God’s son.

So what happens after that? Well lots of things. Joseph marries Mary, and during the night of conception, is forced to have the baby in the local barn full of the pleasantries of cow manure, wet hay, and he has to be thinking why me? This is not the way to raise to son of God. They didn’t even have his first outfit ready; they had to wrap him in grave clothes. But God chose him, not because he was rich, brilliant, handsome ( though) he may have been at least chiseled, but because he was a man of the law, a man of God’s word. We all know that God does not look at the outward appearance as man does, but too many times we evaluate ourselves based on our outward accomplishments. What does God value? Integrity, faithfulness, hard work, and faith. So here’s Joseph probably thinking God if you said this, why am I experiencing this? And all he can do is obey without knowing why and trust that God will carry them through. God who in his own strange way gives this young couple a sign that his hand is with them by sending shepherds, complete strangers, to find them and to celebrate the birth of Jesus with them.

So where was Joseph’s family? Well we’ll get to that in part two. In the mean time let us meditate on and appreciate the faith and virtues of Joseph.

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